Five years ago, he had left her and their seven year-old little boy, whom they had prayed four years to conceive.
You would think that when He saw the miracle of that child (whose conception in itself truly was a miracle) he would have been so filled with joy and love and thankfulness to God that it would have been enough to take him through his entire life. That he would be so happy God had finally answered His prayers and given him--given THEM...a son.
No one who knew them would have ever thought it would end like that.
Another woman, secret meetings, even a chance encounter by their Pastor where her husband would say, "we're just friends".
But it did happen. An affair. Whether or not it was "emotional" or "physical", it took him away from his little boy and his wife and their happy marriage and THEY became another statistic.
She, having no choices, kept going to work, kept taking care of that little boy who is now twelve. She didn't understand any of it. She cried herself to sleep on many occasions. And there were many occasions where she felt so justified to wallow in it. For example, the holidays when it was "his turn, and she had no one to celebrate with...God, where are you? How did this happen? Why did this happen?
Weak days. Five years of weak days.
And resentment, oh yes, lots of it. Watching her husband move in with "that woman" and becoming a step-father to HER two children. Watching her husband and "that woman" move to a nicer home than what THEY had lived in. Hearing about vacations and celebrations while she searches the phone book for a plumber to fix the toilet and then scrapes up the money to pay the bill.
Years of driving a "piece of crap car" worrying every time if it would "make it to work" and if it did, would it "make it home".
And finally, a wedding...to THAT woman. Now, HIS wife. Her son, their precious son in the wedding?
Seriously, God? Where are you in all of this?
Yes, the resentment lay there festering and any little thing could set it off, make it worse, MAKE IT STAY.
The questions consumed her, swirled around in her head. Is this the way God takes care of His children? Is this what it's like to be a Christian?
And inside, deep down inside, she is caught in a trap. She is not free. She is wrapped in chains of unforgiveness that she alone has the key to unlock.
But it's not fair and why should she forgive him or them? THEY did this to her.
And seriously, where IS God in all of this?
One day, the pain became too much to bear. The resentment became overwhelming and the problem of the day was more than she could handle.
That was when she bowed her head, fell to her knees and cried out, "God, help me to forgive Him, help me to forgive THEM." And God was right there beside her...He always had been.
The chains fell off. She emerged from her prayer free and unburdened.
The weight was gone.
And when she saw him the next time, she said, "I want you to know I forgive you".
And she had.
And when she walked away from him, Jesus held her hand.
She was not alone anymore, and she realized just then - she never had been.
KL
